I could have done better yesterday.
I didn't do horrible, but last night for dinner I had 3 pieces of pizza and some watermelon (which wasn't bad). Today has been a little rough as well. I am really trying to cook healthy things for Madelyn because she doesn't eat very well. So, my new thing is to hide veggies in normal everyday food. This morning I made her pancakes with sweet potatoes in them. I ended up eating 3 pancakes with sugar-free syrup, but felt guilty because I bet that was about 9pts. Then this afternoon, the kids were crazy. I was trying to make 2 seperate lunches for me and Madelyn. I was making her Mac-n-Cheese, watermelon, yogurt and soy/chick nuggets. For me, I was having a turkey and cheese sandwich with a spinach salad. I ended up eating that AND about 1/2 cup of her macaroni.

So, according to my estimations (because I'm too lazy right now to calculate it into points) I think the sandwich was about 7, salad about 4 and mac-n-cheese probably 5? So as of right now, I have used 25 out of my 30point allowance. I.Suck.

I guess I'll have to have fruits and veggies for dinner tonight. I can manage it.

By the 2 week's SSTMBLC, I hope to be down to to 172 or better. I was down to 169 this summer...I can do this.

The SSTMBLC! Weigh in- Week 1!

On a toddler mom board I am a member of, we are doing the "Super-Secret Toddler Mom Biggest Loser Challange." What a mouthful! Yesterday was the first weigh-in and I'm still just down 3lbs. We have to take a picture of the scale and flick it off. I think it's to make sure that we're not holding on to anything to lower the weight. Either way it's funny.

Today, I'm going to be a "single mom" because Rob is out of town for the night. So, after I pick Madelyn up from Pre-School, I need write out a shopping list of all the things I need. I'm also thinking of maybe joining the YMCA's areobic classes. Yeah, me, mis-uncoordination joining an areobic class. I'd love to be the person standing behind me watching me screw up all the moves. Maybe Yoga would be better?

Anyways, I'm going to post the picture of the scale every two weeks. Here's today's weigh in and me flicking off the scale.

-3lbs!!

Well, I stepped on the scale today and I'm down 3lbs. That's about 6lbs from where I want to be by the end of January. I'm still unsure about how many calories to take in, but right now I'm just eating 30 points a day from Weight Watchers since I'm only breastfeeding 3 times a day. If I were BF full time, it would be around 36 points for the day. So, I'm just playing with the numbers.
Let me tell you, I am hungry..and that sucks. On a toddler mom board that I am a member of, we are doing "The Biggest Loser" challange. We all have to put in $5 and by I think June 1st whoever was the "Biggest Loser" wins the money. I have a goal to be down 30-35lbs by then. It would be perfect because that's when we're going to the Bahamas. That would but me down to around 145lbs. I haven't been to that weight in about 9 years. How sad is that?!??
On another note, Rob and I are thinking of taking a trip to Florida next month. We're both incredibly burnt out between him having a high stress job and the kids with Luke NOT sleeping. I'm not exhaggerating when I say he's been waking up several times a night. We're both exhausted. I took him to the Dr. yesterday and not only is he getting his top two teeth in, but he has yet another sinus infection. The kid's been on antibiotics now for 6 weeks between all the ear infections and the sinus infections. The Dr. gave us a some information last night on how to create better sleeping habits for him (ie..gentle crying-it-out). So, last night was the first night for that. It was rough to say the least. Because he's pulling up on everything, we had to put him in Madelyn's crib for the night because his crib hasn't been lowered yet. By the time he was done crying, he was standing up in her crib holding onto the sides and dosing off. It was funny to watch but I was really scare that he'd hit his head so I had to quitely lower him to his stomach and he was out within a few seconds.
Well, I'm placing some photos just for the hell of it from Christmas. So, here we go.

The hardest part for me is going to be to stick to a diet. Over the summer after having Luke I was so committed to losing weight. Over a 6 week period of time, I had lost 14lbs. That was the longest I have ever stuck to a diet and the most I've ever lost on one. For some reason, when I start dieting, I'll do really well in the beginning and lose a few pounds but then I stop. It's almost like I don't want to see myself succeed in losing the weight. I suppose I need to just take it one day at a time and try not to look at the big picture. Maybe it's just too overwhelming to know that it's not just a couple of lbs I need to lose but more like 40lbs.

Ughh..how am I going to make it??

Today is THE day

Well boys and girls, this will be the last day I spend being a chunk. I weighted myself this morning and I am 180. By the end of this month, I hope to be down to atleast 170 if not better. Because I'm still breastfeeding a couple times a day, I'm a little unsure of how many extra calories a day I need. I'm sure I don't need the extra 500 calories they recommend, but still need a little extra to make sure my milk supply doesn't drop. So I'll go right in the middle of the Weight Watchers points and say that I need about 30ish points a day.
My January goal is 170.

My Next 30 Years..

I am 29 years old. In May I will be entering my 30's and I absolutly refuse to spend my next 30 years being "Fat". Ten years ago, I was 130 lbs. I complained about my size although looking back I would give my big toe to be that size again. I have two children, one a toddler, the other is currently 8 months old. I look at them and know that right now they just see me as "mommy", but when will they look at me and realize that I'm bigger than all their other friends' mommies?
I live a great life. I have a good looking husband, two gorgeous children, a beautiful house and all my needs are basically met. I am just not happy when I look at myself in the mirror. I currently got on the scale yesterday and it flashed 179lbs. How did I get to this point? I'll tell you how, by not having the ability to shut my mouth and stop feeding it.

This is my journey. I know after the past 9 years of trying to shed weight that I can not do this alone. My goal is to do what I've set out to do for almost a decade and lose the weight. Both of my Grandfathers, my Grandmother and my Father all died of heart attacks. My uncle got diagnose a few years ago with diabetes (which runs ramped in my family) and I can not do this to my children.

My next 30 years..